Early To Rise

(Photo via Pinterest)

I am not a morning person. At all. Always sleeping in and consistently late to everything. My husband calls me a "time optimist." I vastly underestimate how long it takes for all three of us to get ready and walk out the door. It is always about 15 minutes longer than I give it time for and then we are late again. Granted, there are some mornings when this cannot be helped...but every morning is just frustrating.

When I was in college, I worked as a barista at a local coffee shop. The morning shift hurt my sleepy bones. College life + early mornings do not mix. My alarm would sound at 5:15 AM and those shop doors would open at 6:30 AM sharp. When I look back on those mornings there was peace in the stillness of the dark skies, empty roads, and blinking street lights. The potential smell of coffee and fresh baked pastries would be my motivation to get going. I loved the morning crowd and their optimism for what the day would bring. Once the rush hit I was awake and in the zone, no longer thinking about sleep but how many pumps to put in this drink or if they wanted whip or decaf.

As an "adult person" my mornings have been lost to chaos and rushing. Today I found an article called "How To Trick Yourself Into Being A Morning Person" (not sure why this link is not working) and it was exactly what I needed to hear. There are eight tips given to reclaim your morning...but what stood out to me most was the idea of needing to "Proactively decide to enjoy your mornings." Romanticize them or make them a special moment for yourself. Find what pushes you to get out of bed and begin the day. Going back to that drive to the coffee shop with anticipation for the smells and morning conversation.

I have created a list of what would be my ideal morning would hold and want to strive towards accomplishing on week days:

• Stretching
• Quiet time with breakfast & coffee
• Shower and get ready while not feeling rushed
• Have all keys and bags at the backdoor before Eisley wakes up 

The list is short, which makes it a good start for me. I am ready for you morning. Maybe. :)

Happy Place. Vol.1

As I have gotten older I find myself thinking about the places in life where I am truly happy. Some of these places change, are a only for a short time, or happen daily. It is so obvious when a situation morphs into a happy place and you just get this feeling of, "Yes! This is so good right now and nothing change for at least 15 minutes." And that is such a refreshing feeling.

When my daughter was born, nursing was quite a struggle. Supply and demand /learning to eat was quite a challenge. But when she would have a good latch and eat until her head just dropped, that was my happy place. I remember holding her, with milk running down her mouth, and her tiny body being nothing but sweet-snoozing dead weight. (Insert mom tears here) It was beautiful and rewarding. Happiest Place for a new and tired momma.

Now she is almost 14 months old and takes her milk in a sippy cup. I no longer hold her like a football and get to feel conected to her breath and relaxing...but there are some nights when she is so tired that she still falls asleep in my arms. I can feel her nod off and get heavier on my side. Her little hands do not reach out for the book pages and I know that she is out. My girl, in my arms before bedtime, is my Happy Place.

At the Carnival

Coming back to town the other weekend, we passed by a carnival. I love a good corn dog and fried Oreo so I loaded up my family and we went to the smallest "pop-up" carnival I have ever seen.
Though it was not the most thrilling event on Earth, it still offered everything that I needed after a weekend away from my husband...just the 3 of us time. And a corn dog, fried Oreo, and lemonade.
Eisley has never experience anything like this before and could not get over the lights and sounds. She pointed at things as quickly as she could and we told her what they were. Seeing things through her eyes has been such a fun part of motherhood.

This is a small moment but I wanted to write it down and remember her being small and intrigued by all that she sees.

Wednesday

{One of my favorite pictures from this summer. My man and my little one.} 

 

There are some days when it is really difficult to be positive.

I have been thinking a lot about how I look in my daughter’s eyes. She is still so small but has begun to really develop her 13 month old personality and push boundaries. And then I think, how am I acting when I am around her? I will be the first to admit that I am not always as kind hearted as I should be…both about others and myself. Perfection is not what I am striving for but rather positivity in all situations. Not a cheap and fake positivity, but genuine heartfelt positivity.

Part of having kids is that you have to reevaluate yourself on a daily basis. And it is exhausting. But even for those who do not have kids, there is always something in your life that does this and it is equally as tiring.

Yesterday was not my friend. At 17 weeks pregnant I am over this Texas cold, can no longer easily fit in my normal clothes, got told I looked tired, and was getting fat. Safe to say, I was ready to take my fat-tired-freezing self to a place that was warm and not talk to a single person. Instead I picked up my baby and I had dinner with my husband. I was still feeling sorry for myself, but just sticking with my routine instead of pouting in the corner was really what I needed. No, I was not super chipper and over the top but I was genuine and found the positive in that moment. Tiny hugs, little baby hands, a sweet husband that does dishes, ice cream, and finally silence.

There will always be days when it when it is really difficult to be positive. Crap, there will weeks and months. But in those times I must work to find the positive, the genuine in the day. Not just for what my daughter will see as she grows, but for myself.

Finding contentment and leaving fear.

I have blogged once before but have not touched it in well over a year. It was no longer fun or fulfilling...more of a chore than anything. I also began to feel huge amounts of pressure to try and live this "Blog Life" that would be more interesting to write about or photograph. This pressure was brought on by myself, and no one else. Which is worse, in my opinion.

Fast forward to now and I still feel the weight of proper grammar, witty lines, beautifully filtered photos of my day, and the potential of eyes reading my words. And yet this fear will not keep me from sharing and thinking out loud. Even if it is not the most interesting part of another person's day...it will matter to me. And I think that is what is most important. Right?

These feelings go hand-in-hand with why I have decided to focus so much on the word "content." We have lived in 6 places in 4 years. Moving and change have become a need. We have not felt "settled in" since we first got married and have done our very best to knock ourselves down for leaving. But we DID leave, and then we left 4 more times after that, and still searching for what "home" is. Searching for what the difference between "content" verses "settling" would be.

We have had the most feelings of home that we have had in 4 years, here in this place where we are right now. The truth is that there will always be a better town, job, opportunity, or house. However, as we grow in our marriage, faith, and more in love with our tiny family we are learning that it is not about where it is happening but with whom.

So, thank you in advance for reading. And thank you for just going with me on some things. It is nice to have a place to think out loud again.