Wednesday

{One of my favorite pictures from this summer. My man and my little one.} 

 

There are some days when it is really difficult to be positive.

I have been thinking a lot about how I look in my daughter’s eyes. She is still so small but has begun to really develop her 13 month old personality and push boundaries. And then I think, how am I acting when I am around her? I will be the first to admit that I am not always as kind hearted as I should be…both about others and myself. Perfection is not what I am striving for but rather positivity in all situations. Not a cheap and fake positivity, but genuine heartfelt positivity.

Part of having kids is that you have to reevaluate yourself on a daily basis. And it is exhausting. But even for those who do not have kids, there is always something in your life that does this and it is equally as tiring.

Yesterday was not my friend. At 17 weeks pregnant I am over this Texas cold, can no longer easily fit in my normal clothes, got told I looked tired, and was getting fat. Safe to say, I was ready to take my fat-tired-freezing self to a place that was warm and not talk to a single person. Instead I picked up my baby and I had dinner with my husband. I was still feeling sorry for myself, but just sticking with my routine instead of pouting in the corner was really what I needed. No, I was not super chipper and over the top but I was genuine and found the positive in that moment. Tiny hugs, little baby hands, a sweet husband that does dishes, ice cream, and finally silence.

There will always be days when it when it is really difficult to be positive. Crap, there will weeks and months. But in those times I must work to find the positive, the genuine in the day. Not just for what my daughter will see as she grows, but for myself.